Why Is This So Painful?
(This is primarily written for white identifying people)
We are in the midst of perhaps the most dramatic awakening most of us will experience in our lifetimes. I am noticing a repetitive theme in many of my conversations with friends and clients: why is this awakening so painful?
A few things come to mind.
ONE: no one ever said an awakening wasn’t going to be uncomfortable. In certain spiritual circles and practices, the ideal is to feel free from discomfort by healing our wounds. And many of us have been doing that deep personal work for years. So why do we suddenly have to feel this way after doing all the hard spiritual work? The most transformational periods in our history as a humanity were filled with catastrophic circumstances that also led to the most important turning points. Those periods were also centered around revolutionary ideas, and with enough people behind those ideas, things finally began to shift. However, those times also weren’t without upheaval. It’s often a perfect storm that creates the atmosphere for something real and lasting to emerge. We may be in the middle of that perfect storm now. The only way is through it.
TWO: white progressive spiritual folks, we have for decades imprinted on our minds and consciousness the ideal of Unity and Oneness – and now we are right in the midst of one of the darkest nights of the soul as a humanity, and we are confused and wondering why this is happening. To embrace colorblindness, which is to look past race, is to do intense damage to those communities. Presence yourself in the lie that colorblindness teaches, because it has a pervasive presence within heavily white sections of the spiritual community. To not see color or race is that lie, as that denies the very essence of who we are, all of us. Colorblindness strips us all of our stories. We have a responsibility as spiritual activists to look at these hard truths: we have perpetually created an atmosphere of exclusion, where white spiritual seekers are safe to explore. We must put an end to the paralysis and denial around these issues. We cannot embrace an ideal of Oneness and Unity without also going face forward into the reality of the daily pain, wounding, and brutal violence and injustices of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color communities) . To do so is the antithesis of creating the atmosphere of oneness and unity.
THREE: many of us are new to the feelings of devastating trauma. It is also worth noting that BIPOC have had to deal with the reminders of their implied inferiority, deal with current as well as generational trauma, and figure out how to survive an oppressive system stacked against them, that has gone on for hundreds of years. It is healthy to deal with the startling emotional reactions to this time, and take care of yourself by surrounding yourself with other loving, supportive white people. Give yourself over to the rage and frustration, and so it in a way that doesn’t inflict unnecessary burden on the BIPOC communities. You don’t need to feel shame or guilt for having big emotions right now. Emotions are strong indicators of things that need dealing with. It is extremely cleansing. Cry, release, talk to the moon, scream out of rage, and then center yourself in meditation for the work ahead. If you are confused by all the feels, let’s work through it together. BIPOC need us to stay awake and engaged.
The most powerful spiritual awakenings demand that we put our face into it, not turn away. Walk into the storm, not seek cover. Watch your own impulses to turn away from what is currently happening around race in our country, and discipline yourself to remain alert, informed, and active. We can no longer deny that systemic racism is pervasive, no matter how many times we embraced an ideal of oneness, we are far from that. We are not one until all are one.
I must also state here, that moving forward, conversations about social injustices and spiritual activism are going to become a permanent part of my work, and my practice. I am taking a personal inventory of what it means to engage with and continue to support and educate my white clients and the white spiritual community at large. To do less is just another injustice. I refuse to go back to sleep. What that might look like: sharing articles and resources written by BIPOC, reflecting on cultural appropriation and what that means to the spiritual community, speaking freely on my Facebook live about social justice issues, meditative and intuitive tools and exercises for bringing in spiritual wisdom and insights around these issues.
I cannot offer you inspirational words of hope and promise for a better future here. This is hard work. What you will get here is compassion, an open door for an exchange of any kind, non judgment as you sort through how to merge your own anti-racism practice with your spiritual practice, and lots of cheerleading to keep on learning, growing, and participating.
In Peace. Chanda
Anti-Racism Resources for White People: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR0SeXm1kcb1-Ijnt7yYAnsX6YtqZUEwq3rhZaS_VR48IXa4hFX7xzGnI6U